“MI SMALL BUT MI TAWLAWA”
English Definition; I’m small but strong like stalwart”
In Pataw, “MI SMALL BUT MI TAWLAWA.
Stalwart; loyal, reliable, hardworking, strong firm dedicated etc.
I have never heard of that word in my entire life. Funny because growing up in Scarborough none of my Caribbean friends ever said that word before, until now. One of the greatest, strongest women I know, who’s my friend and mentor, told me I’m “TAWLAWA” I laughed out loud.
Hi my name is Monique Panidar Hilao - born in Manila Philippines, raised in Scarborough, Ontario. I came from a family of 5, youngest of 3. I’m a daughter, sister, friend, granddaughter, cousin, aunty, and godmother of 11. Growing up in Scarborough, my life wasn’t the greatest but it has the greatest memories. Living from different homes to homes was like a rollercoaster ride but I survived. I had breakouts throughout my childhood, during high school, which I ended up walking out in my senior year, but eventually, graduated two years after. Since I started High School I was working part time at McDonalds - 4years, after that I moved onto being a Photo Tech at Shoppers Drug Mart. Then I found myself working in retail for almost 10 years. At the age of 18, I found myself being distracted with the world, so I decided to focus on one thing ,which was to maintain a good job that can help me grow, learn and stay focused. Years flew by, I prayed and continued to follow my goals. Finally I found myself working day and night in retail. 9 years as a stock Manager in Urban Planet and now to another retail job as an Assistant Manager, and Product Operations for Old Navy. Never would I think after my roller coaster ride would I tell others I’m officially a Manager. They would look at me and say “YOU, too small to be a manger”. I would always just give them a look and say size doesn’t matter, whatever...watch me.
You know that saying, “Age ain’t nothing but a number”, well that goes for “size doesn’t matter. I know I may look small in person, I may need to climb on the counter and still use a thong to reach for something in the cabinet. I may wear size 5 in kids shoes and rock size 16 in girls’ clothing. Being small did bother me when I was a young buck, but my strength, dignity, my heart and soul made me stronger and that’s what matters. So when I say “MI SMALL LIKE TAWLAWA” that means so much more than just being small. This defines that no matter how small I may be, I am Monique Because I continue to be me. As I always say in every post
#BEYOUBEUNIQUE. I’m loyal to my friends, family and especially JAH.
I’m hardworking that never quits even when I’m at my worst. I’m reliable to my peers. I’m strong even when I feel weak. And very dedicated to everything step I make. BLESS
Monique Hilao